And Me
by Heartaches and Cheap Wine
Summary: What Sam really meant when he said "And Me", mentions of LOng DIstance caller, dont wanna know dont read, no spoilers involved!


**Disclaimer**: I dont own anything, just messin around.

**Warning**: Slight spoilers for the end of "Long Distance Caller" but if i didnt tell u you wouldnt know. so nothing major worth not reading for

**A/N**: This popped into my head watching the final scene of "LDC" and i dunno, I like it, the forst Ive properly wrote in a while so feed back is muchly appriciated and rewarded! So yeah, takes place directly after LDC...ENjoy!

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And me.

Sam rested his arms on his thighs, long fingers still wrapped around the bottle. He knew what he had meant when those two words had fallen from his lips. He smirked inwardly, he knew deep down Dean knew too but he couldn't deal with Dean when he did that, he didn't know how to. The day Dean pulled over on that deserted road and cried, Sam wasn't sure what he could have done then to help him and now it just seemed so pointless trying to push past the horrendously deep feeling of guilt rooted in his gut. Dean was _scared._ Dean never got scared. Ever. For as long a Sam could remember Dean was never afraid, never frightened. He was the Badass, leather jacket wearing, girl magnet ever since Sam could remember. Well, the latter since he was 16 but that wasn't the point Sam was making in that moment; the point was he was going to be alone, Dean was going to be in hell and he was scared.

Sam glanced over to Dean who seemed to be fascinated by some stain on the wall and smiled absently. Sam was never the "And Me." in their relationship. It was always Dean, Dean who would be the reassuring "and me" at the end of every tiring hunt, the beginning of every dangerous hunt, the moment you lie in the middle of the woods, gaping hole in you're side and your father says, calm down, I'm here and the two words fall, so reassuring, so comforting from his lips "and me."

_Sam stumbled over the thick grass and fallen tree branches, hand clutched desperately to his side. "dad!" he stumbled over the word, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth, his feet becoming far more difficult to move with each step he took, eyes demanding to close, "Dean!" he pleaded into the thick air of the forest, words no louder than a broken whisper. He was inexperienced, didn't know how to deal, hadn't ever felt pain this bad, and then he was falling, falling hard and heavy onto the scratchy tree bark below him. Tears streaked his fourteen year old face. Dean didn't want him here, argued with his dad, pleaded and begged to let Sammy sit this one out. It was _Dangerous, _too dangerous for him. Sam and John and thought otherwise and now Sam was stranded in some deserted part of this wood in the middle of the night, in some random town that he didn't even know existed until two days ago. _

_He wanted to sleep, his body craved it but he was scared; scared that if he slept , he wouldn't wake back up again. "DAD! Dean! I'm sorry." he sobbed into the pitch blackness, pain and fear rising up in him in a white flash, like burning magnesium. _

"_It's okay son, I'm here." He heard it but it sounded so far off, so distant, so cold. _

"_Dean..?" Sam sobbed again, broken, hurt, he wanted Dean._

"_And me sasquash, I'm here too okay, nothings gonna happen to you kid." and Sam was warm, enveloped in heat and comfort and _Dean_. No more pain, nothing, just safety and warmth. _

"_This is gonna hurt." John said gruffly and Sam was screaming in pain, fighting against his dad's hand that seemed to be exploring his insides through the hole in his side. _

"_Come on man, its okay Sammy, I'm here nothing can hurt you. Listen to me." and Sam did, concentrated on Dean, Dean' voice, Dean's arms wrapped around his waist and chest, pressing him to him, whispering against his head, ignoring the looks his father was currently throwing in their direction. _

_Sam let out a pitiful noise when John withdrew his hand, mumbling something about "just needing stitched" before commanding, not asking - not that Dean would need to be asked- to get Sam to the motel room, while he and Bobby took care of the "son of a bitch". _

_Bobby gave Dean a reassuring glance and tossed him his keys as Dean removed himself from Sam and carefully picked up his brother in his arms, making his way to the car._

_That was some first hunt_ Sam thought as he looked at his brother sitting beside him and wondered what Dean would do if he hugged him right now, simply got up and wrapped his arms around him and refused to let go. He really would kill him. No question about it. Dean had carried him from the godforsaken place they were and propped him carefully in the back of Bobby's van before making their way back to the motel, all the while keeping him awake and talking. He fought for him that night, Sam could see it now and only now; years later because he was doing the same thing for Dean, he was carrying him, keeping him talking fighting for him.

Sam grinned inwardly at the ticklish pain just below his fifth rib on his left side. A phantom pain that occurred only when he thought about it or he was in a forest or woods somewhere. Sam glanced at Dean again who quirked an eyebrow and turned to face him.

"I,…erm,…I...was…." Sam scratched his head and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Thinking about you're first hunt?" Dean asked a he took a long gulp of his beer and Sam laughed nervously,

"Uh, Yeah, actually…" Sam had no idea what to say, wondered silently if Dean was reading his mind at that moment in time before laughing again, much to his brother's confusion. "How did you know?" he asked finally, the question followed swiftly with a swig from his beer bottle.

"You do it all the time, and you rubbed you're side." Dean shrugged and looked away.

"You know how it gets," Sam said and Dean turned around and nodded silently, "Dean--" Sam began before Dean raised his hand.

"As I said, moments gone." He mock huffed and Sam smiled, he was going to say it properly this time.

"You know that night? In the car, I was desperate to fall asleep and you kept me talking, asking me about That cute blonde in my biology class, you made sure I didn't fall asleep Dean," Sam informed him as thought Dean wasn't the one worrying himself sick over Sam's ashen face.

"I was there Sam and man she was hot." Dean smirked and took a swig from the bottle, sighing when he realised it was finished.

"I know but, what I mean is, you fought for me, you fought to keep me alive that night Dean and I'm gonna do that for you. You're not the only one who can save you. I can too." Sam said defiantly, looking at Dean as he turned away. "You're gonna fight to get out of this, Bobby's helping." Sam sighed and Dean looked at him, the cocky Dean-Invincible-Winchester, not in sight, just the sheer look of fierce fear and vulnerability radiating from him.

"And you?" Dean asked, sounding like a five year old, the unintentional pleading look still there.

"And me."

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Come on guys, you've come this far, hit the button you know u want to!

Luv ya

K xox


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